January 2021 – Begin Again

2021

Did you hear that? Was it a sigh of relief? Or was it a deep breath, taken in desperation after breaking through the surface of a new year, only to dive back into the dark, cold waters yet again?

Water.

Remember the old query that splits the optimists from the pessimists? Simply show a glass with water in it. Is it half-full? You’re an optimist. Half-empty? Well, you get the picture. I suppose I don’t fall in either category, really. I see the glass half-full AND half-empty. I’m a realist. And also a dreamer. “Can you be both?” you ask. Absolutely! But at heart, I confess I am a die-hard realist who longs for a peaceful planet full of love and light.

Last year when I heard coworkers excitedly racing toward 2021, thinking the chime of a clock would shed the burdens and baggage of 2020, all I could think of was wait; this thing we’re in won’t stop on January 1. It doesn’t work that way. And I’m old enough to know life does what it will, regardless our efforts at times. But I also have hope – hope that 2021 can be a good, solid year. In fact, as much as 2020 brought personal challenges, it also held many strong moments for me and my family. In truth, it was less than an ideal year, but it wasn’t altogether lousy.

If anything, 2021 has (personally) started out slightly shy of wretched.

    One health scare cleared, only to be followed by another that has yet to be resolved.
    One child (my only child, who is, in reality a young adult) is stuck on the other side of the country, and who only knows when we’ll see each other again. It’s been one year and counting.
    One more time facing a scale that won’t budge, unless I go back to eating meat and cheese, skipping wheat and rice, which is nigh impossible. (Add to this almond and coconut allergies to a doctor-proscribed low carb diet, which actually does work for yours truly.)

But the year also started with a few things going alright.

  • My husband and I remain employed full-time, which is something we do not take lightly.
  • We have a home, and a dog (Reese) that runs said home.
  • And we continue to have hope we will look back on this year with fond memories, too.

How are you weathering time right now? Although it is expected to feel and say you are not ok, it is also ok to say you are doing just fine. (And if you aren’t doing well, please choose to connect with someone who can help you through this storm we’re all stuck in.)

It’s funny; I started reading the Wheel of Time series before this whole covid thing blew wide open. (I’m not done yet, so no spoilers! The series is part of what’s helping me get through all this.) One theme it carries is the wheel of life turns, and will turn again. We only have so much control over events. And things cycle in and out of life; both wanted and very much unwanted. In a small way, knowing that helps. No, it doesn’t take away pain and loss, but it does help with personal perspectives.

At least for me. The realist.

So, how do you see the glass? Or better yet, how do you wish to see it?

My husband, for those curious, sees that glass as simply too big.

He’s an engineer.

Until next time,

Julie

 

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